It's that time again

FSU football season opens Monday and thus begins another season of entirely too much binge drinking, pizza, burgers, trash-talking, standing for hours, emotional rollercoasters, garnet and gold hair ribbons and beads, grandmas sneaking booze into games, "kegs and eggs," 20-something drunk guys yelling "F**k Miami!" and mimosas at 8am for the noon games.

This is also the second year of no Rix. However, the "criminoles" have been in top shape without him. FSU football players, though surrounded by the best of the best; gorgeous women (Playboy ranked our Publix as one of the country's best places to meet someone), amazing facilities, fans (unless you were Rix in his last 2 years), and all the tricked-out cars you can imagine, somehow manage to continuously find themselves in trouble with the law.

When Rix was QB, he once received 2 speeding tickets in 1 day - on the same street! And last year Wyatt Sexton, in a lyme disease frenzy, proclaimed himself the first QB God to grace FSU's field (and streets - completely naked). I actually saw him at a party one night where he yelled at me and my friend to come take a shot. We said 'no thanks' and he yelled out that we were being laaaa-me. Lame, indeed. Last year, FSU also lost AJ Nickolson (sp?) who was suspended on rape allegations. What a sweetheart. Oh yeah, and Jeff Rouse and Nickolson robbed another player, Lorenzo Booker (gotta love teammates).
Couldn't not include this incredible pic of Rouse.

I'm sure this year won't be any different than past years. Drew Weatherford is QB and hasn't had any controversy after starting last year. But he is hot, so there will likely be some sort of sexual foul play at some point. Bobby Bowden is in for another season as coach and hopefully he won't keel over. Maybe Jeff Bowden will be fired. Maybe not. Maybe students will decide that it's acceptable to sit down during the games. Ha ha. It's more fun to be drunk and standing than to sit...