Very Onion-esque

Just got this press release from our PR team:


NEWS

(Tallahassee, FL) Representatives from Kidd PR announce today that the have launched the first, “Soap Buffet” in the United States. This buffet features a variety of soap options to visitors, clients and employees alike.

“We are always looking for innovative ways to attract the very best talent,” said Tom Derzypolski, Managing Director of Kidd PR. “A comprehensive study by Rodriguez Group showed that the number one frustration among employees is lack of choice when it comes to hand soap in the restroom. We are prepared to do whatever it takes to ensure out people are satisfied.”

Since the launch, sick-days due to cold and flu have decreased 72% saving the company nearly $52,000 in the first six months alone. In addition, employee insurance expenses have decreased 47% resulting in lower healthcare costs for the organization.

“With the additional choice and substantial savings this may be the most incredible benefit anyone has ever thought of,” said Kelly Robertson, mail room clerk. “It’s wonderful working for an innovator like Jerry Kidd. He is clearly committed to the well-being of his employees.”